John Samuel Appreciation Written By Danny Oz
John Samuel is a nice bloke. No, really, he is. Oh, he might torture maggots for fun, but he wouldn't hurt a fly.
John Sammuel has been around for a very long time. We're not allowed to say how long, but the carbon-dating on the leftover bit of his first teething rusk suggests that he is very, very old. This is the reason why scientists don't like him very much.
John Samuels has a passion for his trike (insert lengthy detailed specs here). He has also managed to get many other people interested in them as well. This has caused a slight increase in fandom's overall fitness. Many resent him for this.
Cheese doesn't agree with John Samual. Do not put them in the same room together, because every time Johhn says something, the cheese will yell over the top of him, calling him a liar. Strangely, Jon has been known to dress as cheese at the masquerade, year after year. This has done nothing to solve the issues between them.
Johnnzamyool likes anime. His passion is infectious, but we refuse to make any jokes about there being a cream or innoculation for that now. He is known to have converted several people to various anime series over the years, and not just the ones in which he appears dressed as a school girl offering the watchers 'fan service.'
Despite decades of people spelling or pronoucing his name incorrectly, John Samuel is still a nice guy and we're very pleased to have him as our guest, Spend some time talking to him and you'll soon see why we like him. He's friendly, outgoing, always ready to help, and without him Swancon would have been a slightly lesser beast over the years.
Oh, if he offers to show you his grapefruit trick, it's best to politely decline.